Heaven's Little Angels

So.. this post is kind of like a therapy post. I don't know that there is any real entertainment value to it, but I feel like I need to write it for me! :) I've always felt the best therapy comes from writing down whats inside!! 


First off, I wanted to share a sweet video! This is a video of my beautiful niece Jordan Kalysta. She is my oldest brother's daughter. He passed away when he was only 18! Jordy is used to being the only grandbaby in the family!! And my has she LOVED the attention she gets from that title!! :) We LOVE having her in our life! She is such a light to us and has helped to heal our hearts when we thought they could not feel whole again!


Anyway, on Thanksgiving, I thought I'd tell Jordy a piece of news that she might find especially important. She wasn't going to be the only grandbaby anymore!! Nana Kitty and Papa were going to have another little baby in the family. Josh and I were pregnant!


THIS was her reaction.. (I LOVE this video! You will have to copy/paste into your browser!)

 http://youtu.be/XVKeUYPwQXI

We were all so excited!! I couldn't believe that I was actually going to be a mom! I couldn't wait! I had a lot of emotions come over me when we found out the news! Among all of the emotions I felt, the greatest was excitement! A couple months went by and Josh and I kept getting more imbedded in the mindset that we were going to be parents. The baby was supposed to be due on August 15th, 2012! Oh the plans I had!! :)  


At the end of January, things took a turn for the worst and we ended up loosing our little one at almost 11 weeks. Just 2 weeks short of the 2nd trimester! We were devastated... but after a few days of crying, resting and eating chocolate I was back into the real world. I became hopeful again very soon! MUCH thanks to the help of my sweetheart, who is ALWAYS so positive about everything!!


We waited for a month or so and fell pregnant again not too long after my first loss. I was only 5 weeks and 2 days, when again... another huge blow! We had lost yet another pregnancy!! 


After all thats happened, I just feel gratitude! I have realized what a MIRACLE it is, every time a healthy child is born! How much we are at the mercy of God for everything in our lives. Our bodies and our flesh is truly in his hands! We breathe, because he grants us breath! I know that the Lord knows the answers. Sometimes in life, we simply do not. No matter how hard we TRY to make sense of things... we can't! There are just situations like that in life that do not make sense. I believe this is when God wants us to lean on him in faith even more. Believe in him even more. Take the ACTION to accept and press forward regardless of what's going on around you! I know that Jesus Christ died for me on the cross. That his merciful hand extends to all those in pain and agony. I know that he feels all of the pain i've felt, and can comfort me in my darkest hours! 


I believe that my little spirits will still come to me.. and that God is just waiting for the perfect body to send them in! :) I have to have faith! It's ALL we can have!!

Precious Little One
I`m just a precious little one 
who didn`t make it there.
I went straight to be with Jesus, 
but I`m waiting for you here.
Many dwelling here where I live, 
waited years to enter in.
Struggled through a world of sorow, 
a world marred with pain and sin.
Thank you for the life you gave me, 
it was brief but don`t complain.
I have all Heaven`s Glory, 
suffered none of earth`s great pain.
Thank you for the name you gave me. 
I`d have loved to bring it fame.
But if I`d lingered in earth`s shadows, 
I would have suffered just the same.
So sweet family-don`t you sorrow.
Wipe those tears and chase the gloom.
I went straight to Jesus` arms 
from my loving Mother`s womb.
~Author Unknown